The Reminder Remedy with Alena Conley

Learning to Live Again with Dontaira Terrell

• Alena Conley • Season 6 • Episode 70

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In this heartfelt episode of "The Reminder Remedy," host Alena Conley sits down with her good friend, Dontaira Terrell, a renowned journalist and recent owner of her hometown newspaper, the Buckeye Review. The conversation explores Dontaira's personal and professional journey, touching on themes of grief, self-discovery, and career evolution. Dontaira shares the challenges and triumphs of navigating life after the loss of her mother, her transformative journey in Los Angeles, and her vision for using journalism as a tool for impact and empowerment.

Key Highlights:

  1. Navigating Grief and Loss
    • Dontaira opens up about the profound impact of her mother’s passing in 2014, detailing the emotional rollercoaster of grief and how it shaped her personal and professional life.
    • She discusses the importance of allowing oneself to fully experience grief and the role that her close-knit family, especially her sisters, played in her healing process.
  2. Transformative Journey in LA
    • Dontaira reflects on her move to Los Angeles, initially driven by a desire to break into television. She shares the lessons learned from the city's unique culture and how the experience deepened her understanding of success and personal fulfillment.
  3. Owning Your Journey and Empowering Others
    • The conversation delves into Dontaira's decision to purchase her hometown newspaper with her sister, transforming it into a platform for impactful storytelling.
    • Dontaira emphasizes the importance of mentorship and creating resources for aspiring journalists, revealing plans for a journalism institute that will equip the next generation with the tools and knowledge they need.

Mentioned Resources:

Connect with Dontaira Terrell:

Episode Quotes:

  • "You are not just a writer; you are a business, and you need to treat yourself as such." - Nikki Giovanni (as shared by Dontaira Terrell)
  • "Success isn’t just about being seen; it’s about the impact you make." - Dontaira Terrell
Dontaira Terrell:

the things I feel like it was like a career. I was having like, a complete career breakdown when I was let go from my job and then I was. And nothing, like absolutely nothing was coming through or coming to fruition.

Alena Conley:

Welcome to the Reminder Remedy Podcast. I'm your host, Alina Conley, a personal development expert and coach. This podcast is for leaders, innovators, and culture shifters. We explore personal growth, leadership development, and the journey towards a fulfilling life. With the aim of leading ourselves to effectively lead others through insightful interviews, discussions, and inspiring stories, we unlock the secrets to a better existence and a better world, whether you seek inspiration or practical guidance, I'm here to remind you of your incredible potential because everything you need is everything you got. Let's get into it.

Dontaira Terrell:

On today's episode, you have an opportunity to hear from one of my dearest friends, Dontara Terrell. With a career spanning nearly two decades, Dontara has left an indelible mark on the media landscape. A graduate of the Florida A& M University, with Ohio roots, Dontara Terrell. She has become a regular television contributor to various platforms. Her work has led to coveted interviews with a wide range of talent, including Halle Berry, Tyra Banks, Demi Moore, Melissa McCarthy, Michael B. Jordan. And Tyler Perry. That's right y'all. My girl has interviewed Tyler Perry, which we'll talk about a little more in this conversation. Her expertise is not limited to television as her work has also been featured in publications such as USA Today, BET, MTV, and VH1. Dontara recently took the helm as editor in chief and co publisher of the Buckeye Review, a legacy publication in her hometown with a nearly 90 year history. Under her leadership, the Buckeye Review aims to shine a light on the vibrant diversity and richness of marginalized communities. Through the power of storytelling, and by amplifying the voices within these communities, Dontara is poised to usher in a new era for the Buckeye Review. Follow Dontara's journey as she continues to blaze trails. Let's get into it.

Alena Conley:

Okay, really quickly guys before we hop into today's episode. I need two favors from you If you are listening right now click that plus sign for you to follow the show This really helps us to pop into the algorithm of other and new listeners Number two, if you are not already subscribed to my weekly newsletter, you are missing out. Every Monday, I send out a newsletter called Monday Musings. This is where I share all of my popular links from what I'm reading, the podcast that I'm listening to, what I'm watching, uh, must haves. Productivity hacks, uh, random storytelling, um, we have been doing this for about two months now and it's been a ton of fun. So if you're not subscribed, head over to thereminderremedy. com backslash newsletter to get subscribed today. All right. Welcome back to the Reminder Remedy. I am your host, Alina Conley. And today I am joined by one of my very good friends, Donterra Terrell. Welcome to the show.

Dontaira Terrell:

Thank you so much for having me. I'm so excited.

Alena Conley:

I am so excited. I can't believe this is your first time on the show. Last time we were together, you were interviewing me and that was super fun. But today I am interviewing the journalist. Yeah. That was like for your anniversary, right? Yes, or yeah, it was for my one year anniversary. And that was what, like two, three years ago. So can you believe that?

Dontaira Terrell:

So we about to be approaching five years.

Alena Conley:

Yeah. Cause I started this in 2020. So

Dontaira Terrell:

Wow.

Alena Conley:

But I actually started the podcast eight years ago, but it started the coaching company in 2020. So yeah, It's been fun but i'm excited to have this conversation because I am just first of all I have to i've been doing this thing where i've been like giving everybody their flowers up front because I just know so many dope people but you are just like really Like you just killing it these days. I was just going back through your list of people that you've interviewed and I can't even keep up at this point. Tyler Perry Rowland, did you interview like Issa Rae?

Dontaira Terrell:

I did. Yes.

Alena Conley:

remember that day we were like in the group chat and I was like really, you couldn't put, you couldn't put me like in the wing man could have been in the side room. Cause you know, I love Issa. And so I just think that what you've been doing with your career is amazing. I also love that you always look out for people like Dontara has gotten me so many opportunities and so many other people to just really put our work into the world. And then, with your most recent opportunity or not opportunity, but your most recent purchase of your hometown newspaper, the book I review, let's get some snaps and hoorays around that. That is just like super dope. And we'll get into all the details of that, but I'm just so proud of you. So congratulations. You're killing it. Yeah.

Dontaira Terrell:

I'm proud of you for creating this platform and you have had some heavy hitters too. And you're helping, women Like with their overall wellbeing and just establish themselves, be more confident and bold in themselves. I remember it was a time when I needed your advice and you surely reminded me just like you did now of my words, of my value, of all of the talent that I had inside of me is just started with me. So thank you for that as well.

Alena Conley:

Yeah, absolutely. So that's actually where I want to start our conversation because, one of the things that I was thinking about this morning when I was in the shower, cause before my podcast interviews, I always go through my stuff in my head in the shower. And I was thinking about how one of the last times we got to see together. And that was, I want to say 2018. You were in LA. At the time I was pregnant with Creed, who's now five. And you were just in this transition period. I think you had just moved from Miami living with your sisters. And you were just like in this discovery period. And I remember we were like sitting on the couch and you were just telling me like all the things that you had been dealing with and we went to brunch and I was just like, giving you like all of my mind, like You need to get on this spiritual journey. You need to figure out your life. LA is the perfect place to do that because the vibrations are high or so I've heard, and I just feel since that conversation, that was like exactly what you did. Like you really went through like this transformative journey. And so I would love to know from you, like what was, what has gone on, like in the last five years in your life?

Dontaira Terrell:

Just like you said, it's been a whole like transformative journey. And just like self discovery journey. I started incorporating. meditation into like my daily routine, I started taking my therapist much more like serious in terms of, how sometimes you'll go to therapy, you'll be like, Oh, no, I'm fine. Oh, no, And Once I just let down those walls and actually express myself and told her what I was truly feeling,

Alena Conley:

Huh,

Dontaira Terrell:

In terms of the transformative stage when I lost my mom, I, my faith was a little shattered, if you will, for a few years. So I completely abandoned that, but I got back on my faith journey as well. And I think that helped me tremendously also, because I know that I can't do this thing by myself called life. It clearly was something, a higher being watching over me, protecting me, guiding me and just, keeping me on the right track. So I feel like once I started reestablishing and not seeing everything so black and white. Knowing that there's room for error as well. I think that within the last five years has helped me and then also trying not to force things. You know how sometimes if I didn't get an interview, like I tried to interview Issa Rae several times before and then opportunity just presented itself as opposed to keep trying to beat down that door. It was like, hey, we see what you're doing. Can you interview Issa Rae? So it was also like not taking different things personally, whether it was that professional space or that personal space. So yeah, and then, just in terms of the professional journey, I was, managing editor for 2190 a writer for USA Today, a lot of their special edition magazines. I've been writing for BET Revolt, Shondaland. So it's just been like a lot of various opportunities that have I've been afforded these last five years. But

Alena Conley:

into all of that. All right. So I don't know. I know. So this is the thing that y'all need to know. Me and Donterra are like actually really close friends. This is like one of those interviews where like, where I had Sharice, Maya, Chloe, Melissa, and I like really get into it. This is like one of those interviews. So this is not one of those conversations where it'll be very surface. We're going, and so with that being said, Dontara, I know that you probably haven't listened to the podcast because like most friends don't even know what friends do for a living. And

Dontaira Terrell:

I share though. I share a lot.

Alena Conley:

You're like, go listen to my friend's work. I think that she's like a coach or something. So on my podcast, one of the things that I am very good at, or that I tend to do for my listeners is I like to take the interviews and look at it as like an onion. And like really pull back like the layer so that we can get to the technical side of And understanding from a practical standpoint, what that looks like. So what you said a lot right now. And so I want to start with some of the grief parts of it, right? Because that's where life turned for you. I think, I don't even know if that's where it started. And you tell me so one of the things that I know happened was your mom passed what year did your mom pass 2014?

Dontaira Terrell:

2014, yes.

Alena Conley:

Okay And so would you say that 2014 is where things started to shift for you? Or was it before that because I feel like just based on our friendship There was also like a period in new york where you were like, okay You Things are not going well with my career and I need to figure it out.

Dontaira Terrell:

I was waiting for you to finish. I was just going to say that. I was like,

Alena Conley:

Okay.

Dontaira Terrell:

a little before that. I feel like it was like the stepping stones to get to that point where my mom's death and my mom's death just that

Alena Conley:

Yeah,

Dontaira Terrell:

yeah, the

Alena Conley:

So it's like when it rains, it pours, right? And I feel like there's probably people listening and they're like, okay, just when you think, okay, I've hit a place, I'm rock bottom, and then life is just no, fuck that. It's about to get hit. Like you about to hit hell bottom. So talk to me about I, I feel like, especially I've had friends who have had death, I recently had friends in the last couple of years who've lost spouses, and have grieved. And because they've had children have had to hold it together, but one of the things that I witnessed with you was that you really did it. You didn't really try to hold it together. Like it was very much like I'm grieving, like I do not feel good. Like I lost my mother. I don't want to get out of bed. And as we, we're in May, we're recording this in May, which is mental health awareness. Can you without, me, trying to make you too vulnerable, but vulnerable enough for you to be relatable, Talk to me about what that period of your life felt like.

Dontaira Terrell:

Okay. So that period of my life. Backstory everything was good. And when I say good, my mom was still in my life. We were in what's September so i'll say like the last week in september. We went to dc for a family friend's Anniversary, they were celebrating 40 years. So we had a great time in dc and then when my mom dropped me off her and my father dropped me and my sister off at the airport That was the last time I saw my mom. So that was on a sunday And then on a monday Is when everything whole life changed and we didn't find out about everything until I would say Tuesday I'm saying that because so my mom was at a red light coming home from work She was going to get some mcdonald's coffee She did a little detour before stopping home to get her some mcdonald's coffee. She was

Alena Conley:

and their coffee is amazing, by the way. Mama, I understand as a coffee drinker.

Dontaira Terrell:

And so when she was sitting at the red light, a car didn't see her, that she was stopped, didn't see it was a red light and rear ended her. But the force and the magnitude of of the crash was so severe that immediately it snapped her neck on impact. And her Broke back and she was okay at the crime scene. She was, talking and everything. But then they said, when she said, Oh my goodness, I can't feel my legs. I can't feel my feet. I can't feel anything. She went into a coma. And so from there it was a 14 month journey. I moved back home. And my mom was in and out of a different rehab facilities as well as hospitals, but also never. Being my mom not able to communicate the way we can, in terms of verbally communicate, Communicate 1 blink for yes, 2 blinks for no, she was on ventilators for a lot of period of time, learning how to breathe, breathe again. She was paraplegic from the neck down, and she had traumatic brain injury, is ironic because my mom's whole career was being a nurse for traumatic brain injury victims.

Alena Conley:

Wow.

Dontaira Terrell:

Yeah, so that was her whole, so we were able to get educated because she has so many books and notes. So we were sometimes going in there telling the doctors, no, because when this happens, she does this and so we know. So being huge advocates for my mom out like at one point in time. And I still actually do terms of like kind of PTSD, I don't think people understand the severity. Like when I moved home, I was, we were staying the night in the hospital. I also had to become like a caretaker. And I feel like Growing up point, even though I was already grown. But Me and my dad, and my sisters, we were taking turns going to the hospital. Okay. I got to cook. We got to go grocery shopping. Okay. We got to do these bills. So I was like doing the books and. It was just all kind of stuff. Also just caring for my mom at the hospital. But I remember one time vividly when I was sitting there and her monitor started beeping and everybody just came rushing in here. She had flatline. while I was sitting there and then I swear to goodness It was like a grace anatomy scene a whole movie They usher you out you trying to ask a question you like script like I started crying screaming They shut the doors shut the curtains and i'm like, oh my god they just all rushed in there So I still have those moments or even when i'm just being at a red light or being at a stop sign or even like cars Behind me i'm like afraid or fearful that someone's Me Very extra cautious

Alena Conley:

Yeah. Yeah.

Dontaira Terrell:

So then, after 14 months and when I tell you we fought hard to get her in different kind of rehab facilities and everything, one of the last ones we were literally ready to pick up our whole life, moved to Pittsburgh, moved to Houston. Moved to Atlanta, the the cities that had those those institutions that could treat her. But the last time I think we went to Pittsburgh and then after the fifth, no, because that was 14 years, 14 months in the making, it was finally, we took her to hospice and I can't remember how long she was there. But back. I think 1 of the things is, I feel like I was might have been a bit selfish in my approach because when she went to hospice, I didn't go see her. So I didn't see my mom when she passed away. I saw her after she passed and I'm sure, now that I'm reading 1 of the things is that they want people to, loved ones or even, animals, loved ones. They want those people around them. So they're probably looking for you. Like, where are you? And so I wasn't there. So I saw her after she passed away.

Alena Conley:

And why did you make that choice? Why do you think you made that choice?

Dontaira Terrell:

was so angry and I was so confused and just like heartbroken and devastated and no, this couldn't be happening. So

Alena Conley:

And so the decision to, or the fight, the 14 month fight, was that, do you feel like your family fought for you? Or was that like a collective hope from the doctor? Or what was the decision that kind of made you all go through the different rehab facilities?

Dontaira Terrell:

Hope and we in faith because we knew we could turn this thing around.

Alena Conley:

Yeah.

Dontaira Terrell:

wasn't about like people, it was about a higher power and

Alena Conley:

Yeah.

Dontaira Terrell:

every day.

Alena Conley:

Yeah.

Dontaira Terrell:

so I think that was like part of it.

Alena Conley:

Yeah,

Dontaira Terrell:

And just fighting for my mom like because we wouldn't want somebody to fight for us like fight to the very end don't let one person tell you just like I feel like in your career your day to day Okay, we talked to the wrong person. This is the wrong doctor

Alena Conley:

right.

Dontaira Terrell:

else you know You're not giving us what we need or what we want and that's okay You probably because one of the things was in terms of like bedside care and manner We had some really great people, but then

Alena Conley:

Yeah,

Dontaira Terrell:

the ones who's oh, I've seen a million cases like this Just you know Wrap it up say your goodbyes

Alena Conley:

right.

Dontaira Terrell:

my dad going in with the doctor oh, no you may have seen a 1000 cases like this, but I don't have a 1000 or a 1M wives and my kids don't have a 1000, mothers. This is one person. This is Ellen Terrell.

Alena Conley:

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, absolutely. Now that when you think about the transition, and becoming the adult through that what were the things that you then had to do to move your life forward, right? Because, I. I've heard so many versions of it, it's never the same. Like you can never fill that hole, but you just learn to move through the motions what has that been like for you?

Dontaira Terrell:

A roller coaster. Let's see. It has been, I feel like every stage of grief that you could possibly think of, whether it's anger, whether it's sadness, then whether it's oh, I'm going to find joy in the pain or, oh I'm happy that I was able to spend the years that I did get to spend with my mom,

Alena Conley:

Yeah.

Dontaira Terrell:

just Beauty in the pain. Oh, yeah. Oh, that bird came to me. That's my mom. Or if a song And I'm like, mom like it's been, it's definitely been a journey. And it's also even at times resentful, I know in my early stages of grief, I was definitely very resentful of people who still had their mothers in their lives. Like I Jealous. Cause I'm like. Like, how does this work And happy? And I'm like, and then at the time, that's when a lot of my friends were getting married. A lot of my friends were, having babies. A lot of my friends were just going through that next stage of life. And I feel in the months prior to that, my mom and I were just getting to that stage of, okay, like I'm talking to her about dating. I'm talking to her about just different things like that. I normally wouldn't talk to her about at all. Actually giving me advice and I'm like, Oh, look at here. Okay. I did become one of your little friends. Just to have like people just seeing other people have be able to have their mother for their first pregnancy and just talk to them about motherhood, your body changes, friendships or relationship changes, or, those first few years of marriage, all those different things. And I'm like, I don't have that.

Alena Conley:

One of the things that I've always admired about you and your family dynamics is your relationship with your sisters. And your sisters are much older than you and I've had the pleasure of, recently establishing a closer relationship with one of your sisters because we worked on a project together and, even with dealing with her, I'm just like, Oh this is just so cool to have an older big sister because me and my sisters are basically like ghetto triplets. Like literally we're all the same age. There's a period where literally we're All the same age at the same time, So it's just super ghetto. But anyways so how did that inc like how, and it seems like y'all have always I know you always said that your sisters were like, they helped raise you, but after that experience, like how did that even affect your relationship with them or enhance it?

Dontaira Terrell:

I would say it's, it was a little bit of both. I'll say affect because we were all trying to deal with grief in our own various ways, and some are more expressive about it than others. so I feel like in that sense, yes, but then also enhanced because we tried to do things that will bring us closer in terms of connecting with our mom. So Like we made it a point to just do stuff to continue honoring her legacy. In terms of my mom loves flowers. So we started taking bouquet making classes together. One of us might have a breakdown. One of us, might cry and it would start like talking about it and everything. And then, but then also just realizing that unfortunately life goes on and they all have their own different families. So I might get mad I can't believe, you didn't react this way to this, but. My one sister has three kids, a husband, a full time job. So it was just like, I can't, but also I'm single, no kids, no husband. For my, I have a lot more, I had not a lot more time on my hands, but I didn't have like life didn't just hit me in the face. Okay I got these kids to take care of. I have a husband and things like that, I would say it definitely. But also definitely enhanced the way we look at life. That is like something for all of us, like in terms of how we look at life. general me be more appreciative, even of my sisters and them, my nieces and nephews

Alena Conley:

yeah,

Dontaira Terrell:

journey. I was a bit more understanding. Okay. Yeah.

Alena Conley:

right. Yeah. And I feel like you're like the best auntie, like you just show up for them, which is another, to me, this other role of motherhood that, sometimes can be underplayed, but it's just so valued. And so shout out to you for being an amazing auntie. So one of the things that you mentioned was meditation. So what form of meditation do you practice?

Dontaira Terrell:

Actually. I do like meditation, it's a variety of different, I'll say wellness methods, whether I'm just. Putting on I'll go to YouTube or I'll go to Apple Music and put on like a 10 minute morning meditation Or just evening meditation and just just lay there or sit there Could be as simple as five minutes. You're like, okay, I needed that so I will listen to Like meditations whether it's about having a great morning having a great day or you know tapping into inner peace also There's a good form of meditation for me because once they do my pinpoints i'm just there And like i'm not leaving i'm not there. So I often meditate in that way as well You and then I also think even though it's moving, I go for like daily walks and I think that's a form of meditation as well just because it does calm my mind. It does help me bring a sense of ease and it's just like my time for me. and then just being able to, observe the different things that surround me. Whether it's a, like I said, I was talking about the bird. I'm like, why is this blue jay following me? But I was having a bad day and then I looked at what blue jays mean. It was like, oh, they're trying to send you a message. I'm like, oh, okay.

Alena Conley:

Yeah, so at what point did you feel like you were, cause I feel like you went from, just taking a much needed break to then you started picking back up some projects slowly and then the career just started like taking off. So what was that like? Like, how did you ramp that up? Because I think that a lot of people go through, life periods where they either experience burnout, grief, people go through like a postpartum period where they take a break and then they may be ready to jump back in and have a breakout season. That's like similar to what you're in now. So what was that like for you? Shout out to the sunbeams.

Dontaira Terrell:

the things I feel like it was like a career. I was having like, a complete career breakdown when I was let go from my job and then I was. And nothing, like absolutely nothing was coming through or coming to fruition. contacts or people I thought I had, I can't help you. Sorry. And then Also just in terms of having to be on unemployment. But then it was like, I would have these like breakthrough moments, like when I was on the game and I'm like, Ooh, y'all know. So it will always give me like a glimmer of hope and then I'll always be humbled again. I'm

Alena Conley:

Yeah.

Dontaira Terrell:

but

Alena Conley:

You're right.

Dontaira Terrell:

Working. So it was like a career. Breakdown and then when my mom when I had to move back home, luckily friend of mine, a friend of ours, Ashley, she was working at put me in contact with one of the editors. And so I was able to stay afloat just in terms of being home and just becoming a staff writer, a contract writer for and they worked around my schedule because, I'm taking care of my mom going to the hospital, sitting with her, going through doctor's visits and things like that. And then it just went back downhill after my mom's death, because also to your point, I was not getting out of bed. I was not doing anything with my life, but sitting grieving and crying and thinking and just, just in my thoughts and my feelings. And then I started slowly, but surely, I would say putting myself out there, but knowing that it was like, I still was getting every know that there was and is.

Alena Conley:

And what did putting yourself out there look like?

Dontaira Terrell:

I started just in terms of pitching again, like pitching stories or actually coming back into the fold into the know Oh, this person has a new book. I'm going to reach out to,

Alena Conley:

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Dontaira Terrell:

So I am a journalist, storyteller. I write a lot of lifestyle content. I cover a lot of events or do a lot of red carpets. And I also a lot of interviewing with various celebrities. And like it was mentioned earlier, we named a few, but I'm also, I forget sometimes too, I've interviewed Melissa McCarthy, Octavia Spencer, Demi Moore, Queen Latifah, Phylicia Rashad I'm like Tyra Banks, it's so many, Russell Westbrook Russell Westbrook Nikki Giovanni. I'm like, it's I can't keep track either,

Alena Conley:

Yes, ma'am.

Dontaira Terrell:

it's been a journey in a

Alena Conley:

Yes. Yes.

Dontaira Terrell:

Yes,

Alena Conley:

So back, you started, somebody got a new book coming out, you'll pitch that.

Dontaira Terrell:

I'll do different things like that. And I was writing for free a lot. But just for the opportunity to get myself back out there, get my name back out there get the invites coming back in, rolling back in and also just creating and establishing those relationships even more. and then I would say I started, what I started, I'm like, it's been such a journey because I'm like, it hasn't been like a

Alena Conley:

Linear. Exactly. Exactly.

Dontaira Terrell:

and step back, step forward.

Alena Conley:

You're right.

Dontaira Terrell:

Been like a whirlwind. But then I also started when I moved to LA. of the things I wanted to do was be on television. So also I started investing back in myself. I was doing that when we were living in New York. So I started enrolling in different on air camera classes. I wrote enrolled in different creative writing courses to just help build up my vocabulary. And also just. Learn different forms and techniques of writing, Informal, whether it's formal, whether it's conversational, different things like that. And that was also helping me get out the house and meet other people who were in my field or, like minded kind of, say, in a sense, I was using them as a way to encourage myself, Need that So they were supporting me. unknowingly because I needed it.

Alena Conley:

right?

Dontaira Terrell:

That those were like some of the ways I started putting I started, putting myself back out there for casting calls just to see what it would do.

Alena Conley:

Why did you move to la? What did you, what was the decision? Was it because you wanted to be in television and that's like the spot, or what was that decision? Okay.

Dontaira Terrell:

it was also I always wanted to move to la and then every time I was supposed to move to la something happened But then after my mom passed i'm like we just gonna make it do what it do life is too short not to just at least give it a try You know, I feel like you can't, if you, just didn't want any regrets. I wanted to move to LA and I knew my mom, I was like, my mom would fully support this decision. Also just knowing that a lot of things that my mom wanted to do in her life, she wasn't able to do that she, oftentimes I spoke about even in her sixties oh, can you hear me? Okay. I said trying to reconnect. Even in her sixties, she still talked about a lot of things that she should have did, could have, did, would've did. So I just felt okay, mom, this is you working through me, and so we're gonna move to la we're gonna try to give this a shot. One of the things I wanted to do was I wanted to pitch a pilot. I wanted Script writer, which I still wanna do.

Alena Conley:

Okay.

Dontaira Terrell:

so I have kind of in the making, but also when you're in LA and you're around those people. They have the resources, they have the knowledge, they have the tools and skillsets. I've never been a television writer before, so just me being there, having coffee, let's do a powwow session. Okay, let's rent this room in the library and let's go back and forth. How do you do character development? I'm missing a plot. Okay, so I need a character arch. You know what I'm saying? Just learning those different dynamics. It was a lot easier to connect to. with those people in

Alena Conley:

Okay.

Dontaira Terrell:

field, in terms of the writing field. So yeah, so that was part of my reasoning for wanting to move to L. A.

Alena Conley:

Okay. So when you got out there, how was that

Dontaira Terrell:

It was a wake up call.

Alena Conley:

What happened? Girl,

Dontaira Terrell:

It was great. I feel like L. A. is great for what it is for what it's worth. I do love L. A. But I think, I do and I do want to move back to L. A. But I think my expectations are a little bit different. I feel like I said, a lot of people who I encounter you have to, you just have to be mindful of your space and know that. Everyone's not your friend. I feel like a lay is a business transaction. It's all about associates and who, and I went into it like, oh, hey, let's be oh, I'm new here. They're like, yeah. Okay. Great. What can you it's like a business transaction. What can you

Alena Conley:

Okay.

Dontaira Terrell:

And then when they saw, I couldn't do anything or Next.

Alena Conley:

Okay.

Dontaira Terrell:

that was very hurtful, but also even in terms of. Getting into the different rooms, getting into the breaking down those doors was a bit challenging as well. But so I would say that aspect but on the opposite end of that You do have the ability to just go to the beach And you have all these, different methods to calm your mind to relax, you know Just be so free like you know what let's be a kid again Let's go to the pier and just go skating Around, you know Do let's meditate on the beach, they have classes all day so let's just be one with the beach the waves the water and You know So in that sense, oh, amazing. Career sense, if you don't have a a actual plan it can definitely eat you up and spit you right back out. Suck you out.

Alena Conley:

Yeah. Yeah.

Dontaira Terrell:

in terms of the resources, like I said just in terms of investing back in myself, making sure I'm out and about different things like that that costs. And if you get too caught up, then you might, like I said, It was a learning, it was a learning lesson. It was definitely a great journey. And like I said, I want to go back, but I feel like my mindset is a bit different, like I know exactly what I want now, and I have a clear plan and vision before I was just going with the flow, trying to figure it out, But a lot of people I noticed who on television, they had like their plan and they stuck to their plan,

Alena Conley:

And I think that is the beauty of Kind of the evolution of a career. And testing the waters is it feels Oh, like when is this going to come? And then when it does, it's I know, like through the hell, then you're like, I know what I want. And that's the season that I'm in. There's a lot of people. I just interviewed someone else last week and she was in that season. And it's I know what I want to do. I know what I don't want to do. I don't fully know a hundred percent how it's gonna get done. I do have access to certain resources, but I know what I want. And so talk to me about that plan. What does it look like from here? What clarity do you have? Because you've now, purchased this newspaper. It sounds like you have, a vision for where your goals are. Like, where have you landed?

Dontaira Terrell:

Oh, okay, sure. So I think where I've landed and I think also even in terms of going back My, my definition of success is a lot different than what it was prior. I think before it was very superficial.

Alena Conley:

Okay.

Dontaira Terrell:

Now it's okay, how can I be a resource? How can I really truly leave a mark? How can I pour into people who poured into me? I want to be impactful. I don't want to just be Or, oh, it looks great on the gram. I want

Alena Conley:

right?

Dontaira Terrell:

Waves, make noise. Yeah. And part of that, so with me purchasing our hometown newspaper, my sister and I, one thing, let's do a story, full circle moment, my sister actually was an intern for this newspaper 30 years ago,

Alena Conley:

Okay.

Dontaira Terrell:

owners,

Alena Conley:

And which sister?

Dontaira Terrell:

this is Zakiya,

Alena Conley:

Okay.

Dontaira Terrell:

Also, look, I guess you could say Zakiya You can credit her to introduce me to writing because I actually had my first byline in the paper as well. The

Alena Conley:

Okay.

Dontaira Terrell:

that I purchased when I was nine. She interviewed me and then I interviewed some of my like, fourth grade friends on their summer plans and what they were looking forward to in the upcoming school year, how they felt

Alena Conley:

That's so

Dontaira Terrell:

ten. Yes. So I had my first byline in there. And so a lot of things that we want to folk what we want to do outside of the newspaper and the website is our extension. Is beyond that, in terms of implementing a journalism Institute

Alena Conley:

Huh. Huh. Huh. Huh. Huh. Please. Huh. Huh. Huh. Huh. Huh.

Dontaira Terrell:

And also like tools, resources, and skill sets to develop your career as opposed to everything being like hush or figure it out. So that's 1 of the things we're working on, having different workshops, various workshops. And like I said, it's not just although the paper is based in Ohio, we are actually in print 200 cities across 26 states and remind me to get your address. So I can send you some so it's a lot of different things that even with us in terms of my sister, not losing our mom incorporating like, that grief aspects. We also want, I also want to focus on. Create conversation starters, so we won't have those taboo topics and I feel like sometimes when it comes to grief, I do remember one time my little cousin passed away. And I busted out crying when I saw his mom and his sister. And I remember, my one cousin was like, don't let them see you cry. I'm like, he's it's our family. It's what do you mean? No, don't, no, don't cry. And I'm like, what? So it's okay to cry. It's okay to have a big cry. It's okay to grieve. It's okay to your point, like how I told you and you knew you, I was not okay. So I also want to shed light. Again, on those taboo topics and also create those conversation starters that have an intergenerational approach as well. So I think like, when I think of success and just my footprint, I want it to be beyond me.

Alena Conley:

Absolutely. Yeah.

Dontaira Terrell:

very selfish and it

Alena Conley:

Yeah.

Dontaira Terrell:

How can I be on TV? I'm ready to walk the red carpet. I'm ready to be at the Oscars after party.

Alena Conley:

Yeah. And I think that really speaks to the model that I introduced in my coaching program. And this is really the season that we're in on the podcast, which is leading oneself so that you can then lead others. And so the life crafting model is all about going deep so that you can go, why? So it starts with kind of that self mastery, right? So it's that self discovery period. Who am I? What are my gifts? What are my superpowers? But then recognizing once I do spend time with self and understanding what my gifts are to the world, not just letting it reside for my own benefit, but then how do I use that to impact others, right? So how I hear, what I hear is your gift is in journalism. It's telling those stories. That radical information and those those untouched topics or things that may be taboo out into the world. And so that's a level of impact, but then it's also thinking about the skillset that you've acquired passing those skillsets on in a way that's more attainable to the next generation. So that's that going wide piece. And so I think that when, when we think about how one should live a good life, that's what it looks like, right? And I'm glad to hear that, that is what you're doing because that's absolutely incredible. And as I am continuing to spread my hosting wings, feel free to continue to drop the gems to me. Because I am a pseudo journalist and I don't have no extra time to go back to journalism school, so just send me the workbooks, on the low.

Dontaira Terrell:

Did want to say for instance, look, because I think the story is amazing before I wouldn't have been into this story. I've been like, oh, she's not famous or whatever. I'm not covering it, but we recently featured a woman named Daniel Mets. Barack Obama granted her clemency. So she spent 23 years behind bars for a nonviolent act. A nonviolent crime they didn't find anything on her, but instead of focusing because she's already having a tough time reintegrating back into society. I feel you already have that strike against you. On, okay, what was 23 years of life behind bars? We, we did a story. Hold on, let me, shameless plug

Alena Conley:

Yes. Yes.

Dontaira Terrell:

we did a story in terms of discussing how she's taking full advantage of that second life that she's been given being a pillar in her community. To college, obtaining her degree also just in terms of fighting for unfortunately, what is the reality of some. A behind bars or anything like that as well as just even establishing that relationship with her adult Children because she's missed 23 years.

Alena Conley:

Yeah.

Dontaira Terrell:

like, all the success and all the courage that she has acquired throughout the day to day in Integrating back into society. So I feel like that's also in terms of impact, giving a voice to the voiceless, letting

Alena Conley:

Absolutely.

Dontaira Terrell:

well. But shining a light, a spotlight on what others may be like. Oh, no, let's talk about 23 years behind bars. No,

Alena Conley:

Yeah.

Dontaira Terrell:

what you're doing now and the positive impact that you're having. So that's also in terms of.

Alena Conley:

How you want to approach things. Yeah. Yeah. I love it.

Dontaira Terrell:

giving her that platform

Alena Conley:

Yeah,

Dontaira Terrell:

to talk about it.

Alena Conley:

I love it. So I want to get some so another thing that a lot of people tune in for is to acquire some business skills. So when you think about preparing for an interview, right? And again, we've talked about all of the incredible people that you interview, what are some of the things that you do to get ready for an interview?

Dontaira Terrell:

Okay, so a few things 1, so let's say it's a musical artist and I think Nicki Minaj, I said this on 1 of her interviews. She went to an interview. And she was referencing her new album that was coming out. And nobody had listened to the album. she was like, but y'all knew I was coming up here to talk about the album. And nobody thought to

Alena Conley:

Listen.

Dontaira Terrell:

at least do one

Alena Conley:

Rowland literally just went off on Big Tga on our local chat the other day about this movie. She was like, did y'all even watch the movie? And they were like, no, y'all didn't invite us, da. She was like I feel like we could have had a richer interview if y'all would've watched it. It was so embarrassing.

Dontaira Terrell:

So like to point, so if it's a Or a movie coming out, I always try I always watch it, listen to it. Even if it's in the past even if I'm like, oh, they sent me the screener. And I have an interview at eight in the morning and it's midnight Know Even while i'll have it on in the background so I can get some nuggets or

Alena Conley:

Yeah.

Dontaira Terrell:

like that. That's funny. I need to watch that interview. But yeah, so also interviewed bia the rapper bia And I was listening to some of her music before the interview and I referenced

Alena Conley:

Yeah, I saw that

Dontaira Terrell:

Yes.

Alena Conley:

You were like, when you said bea I was

Dontaira Terrell:

okay. Yes, that part. See, so that's the But she was so impressed. She's Oh, wow. But I used one of her lyrics to incorporate into it, like daily lives. I think she was talking about like one of her friends or like having And she used it as a bar. And I was like, okay, so tell me. about your friends? I can't remember the exact She was very impressed by that. So that's one. And also, just in terms of preparing for an interview, I try not to focus too much on you want if it's a campaign, if it's a movie, if it's a album, focus too much on that particular because it's going to pass. But I wanted, I want the interview to be evergreen. I want it to be timeless. Able to come back and be like, now, what did she say about womanhood? Or if it's Mother's Day, let's talk about motherhood. And then I can also republish that or bring that back to the forefront. The next Mother's Day Stale.

Alena Conley:

right?

Dontaira Terrell:

but also make sure you do get those nuggets for the movie because we celebrate anniversaries. Five year anniversary, take a look back. So I always try to thank And I also look at their Instagram pages sometimes I reference their captions and things like that. But I also, So Kelly Rowland's point to get a rich interview. I want to go beyond the surface. I want to go beyond. So how was it acting with such and such, I feel like those are like everyday questions as opposed to so tell me, it is to your point, it is mother's day weekend. It's mental health awareness month. How do you maintain your sanity when, You just lost your mom. I know you just had a baby, just different things like that, like really tap into who they truly are at the core

Alena Conley:

Yeah.

Dontaira Terrell:

some just

Alena Conley:

Do you write down your questions?

Dontaira Terrell:

I do, but then I'm like, but then also another thing before I was very like, okay, so question one, Would never make sense

Alena Conley:

Yeah.

Dontaira Terrell:

I'm they were like, they would give me a really good nugget. And I feel like it was a lot of missed opportunities because I'm like, okay, so question two. Okay.

Alena Conley:

right.

Dontaira Terrell:

next question, I would stay to the list as opposed to feeding off of what they just said. And you're like actually, you just said something and I want to take a step back to talk about it for a 2nd, before we switch gears.

Alena Conley:

Yeah,

Dontaira Terrell:

I had to learn that because before another interview, I watched Oprah and 1 of the college students were interviewing her. She was like, we can get to all your questions, but just talk to me.

Alena Conley:

right. Yeah, I feel like when I write down questions, I tend to look at them and try to get them in, and then I'm not listening as much, and so that's why I just try to think about my points in the beginning, so that I can just be listening, and then I can just have more topical stuff, because otherwise I'm not listening. You know what I'm saying? And then I can't like, Because, yeah, I have had interviews like that. So what are like some of your favorite transitions? Because one of the things that I hate when I'm being interviewed is when I answer the question and somebody always just says, I love that. And then they just go to the next question and I'm just like, girl, you guys sign that in transition.

Dontaira Terrell:

So although the interview is not about me, sometimes I try to put like a personal antidote or make like light of it. So if they

Alena Conley:

Yeah.

Dontaira Terrell:

like, You know what? That was a good point, and I just experienced that. Look,

Alena Conley:

Yeah.

Dontaira Terrell:

point, I just experienced that. So thank you for bringing that up, because

Alena Conley:

Right.

Dontaira Terrell:

then we'll do a little laugh, and then Okay, so You know, with that being said, How do you feel about XYZ? Or again, to the point, if I need to if they're giving me a timer on the side you got two minutes. Okay. No, that was a great answer. Thank you so much for letting us into your world in that aspect. I'm going to quickly shift gears to discuss X, Y, Z Like that. Or how do you feel about us? Talking about your new movie that's out. I don't know. How do you feel about us talking about you and your husband's 25th anniversary? What's the secret? They'll make a joke or I'll make a joke, but I don't know. I think it's caught up in the moment. Or, I caught myself doing a lot. Oh, absolutely. And I know they're like, girl, absolutely. What? I'm like, Oh,

Alena Conley:

Yeah.

Dontaira Terrell:

absolutely.

Alena Conley:

Yeah.

Dontaira Terrell:

my next question is

Alena Conley:

What about the interjections? I feel like Oprah is like famously known for like interjecting when people are saying something to then ask like a deeper question. Do you ever do that?

Dontaira Terrell:

No, I try to wait until they get finished and

Alena Conley:

Okay.

Dontaira Terrell:

we'll bring it back to what they said to try to get

Alena Conley:

I

Dontaira Terrell:

A bit deeper.

Alena Conley:

interject cause I be thinking I'm Oprah. I be like, but what did your mama say when she did this?

Dontaira Terrell:

I feel like sometimes I do. I sometimes I do. I feel like it depends on the subject.

Alena Conley:

Yeah.

Dontaira Terrell:

have feel the

Alena Conley:

Yeah, yeah.

Dontaira Terrell:

and then sometimes I try to do like icebreakers to

Alena Conley:

Yeah.

Dontaira Terrell:

okay, we're going to do a fun, quick round named, the first thing that comes to the top of your mind when I ask you these questions,

Alena Conley:

Yeah.

Dontaira Terrell:

go Oh, wait a minute. Huh. And then it

Alena Conley:

Loosens up a little bit. Yeah, I can imagine that. So being that you do deal with so many different personalities, like how is that? Because I think that when it comes to my podcast I have like way more Selective is I can select who I want, and I can read energy in advance, when you're working with certain publications, I can imagine that you don't really get to choose everybody based off of energy. So how do you connect with certain vibes and manage that?

Dontaira Terrell:

But one thing that I've I can't remember who told me this, but just realizing that they're human just like us. The interview subject so but before I used to always be nervous nice. Oh my goodness And I felt like that also can read through the camera

Alena Conley:

Okay.

Dontaira Terrell:

go through the phone So just taking that approach understanding that okay. I know they've probably been in interviews. It's press day and been in interviews for seven hours getting asked the same thing. So that's why I always try to bring other questions outside of yeah. Yeah. So I got called to do the movie and yeah, that's how that came about. We filmed for six weeks. So that's why I try to like, do those other questions. But I think

Alena Conley:

when you interview them, they've been interviewed all day.

Dontaira Terrell:

sometimes in some cases, if it's a press junket day, or if it's like a press day, a media day. Yes. And they go back and forth between either being in a press room. Sometimes they'll have an event. And then they'll come back and do more interviews, or they'll go from being on zoom to being like, at a round table discussion. So it's just it's literally to jumping on a call for radio or going to radio. They literally try to squeeze so much in in a short amount of time, in certain aspects. And then a certain aspects where you where it's not a media day, and they give you all the flexibility and you got to wheel them back in it's okay. Okay. We still on this question. Okay. It's 10 minutes. And we still talking about this. So yeah,

Alena Conley:

So as a journalist, like what is your goal? So as a podcaster, right? Like I know, and things have changed, right? So like when I first started the podcast, it was really more for me as a hobby to have almost like this time capsule of just like my. Thoughts like so I would read all of these books, like I consume so much content I just wanted a place to have all of my thoughts of just like why is the world round? So if you go back to some of my earlier interviews, i'm just like preaching Like Jesus is my savior. He should be yours. It's just like hilarious. And so then it like, like slowly turns into a season where some of it's all interviews, some of it's more just like educational. And so now it's more like topical. So like this season I say is more, okay. I wanted to have this theme of. I wanted it to align with the model that I'm developing based off the book that I'm writing. And so it's all like a little bit more strategic, right? So it's like everybody that I'm interviewing, I want their life story. I want to understand like how they've mastered themselves, how they've gotten their, their skillset and their superpower, how they're impacting the world. And that's like how. Luckily the interviews have been going but that's I get to own that based off like the questions that I'm asking. So when you're doing, as a journalist working from a media outlet, like what is the goal? As you're navigating these different spaces,

Dontaira Terrell:

I would say so I think it depends. So sometimes we'll reach out to somebody or somebody reach out to us with their own specific goal. my this person has a new book and we want to talk about it.

Alena Conley:

okay.

Dontaira Terrell:

or this person has a new clothing line. We want to talk about it. But again, it goes into instead of asking how does this collaboration come up with Nordstrom asking how fashion is a part of your overall well, being how fashion, is a reflection of 1's personality, just asking other questions outside of the basics. And then, or if it's like a commemorative day or holiday then we try to focus on that. June is Black Music Month. So the thing, so how do you, what is your approach to making timeless music? We're coming up on 25 years of your initial album and it's still on the charts, TikTok has taken off with your song. So what is your approach to making timeless music? So we'll focus on the theme for the month.

Alena Conley:

So your actual skillset is trying to ask dynamic questions to get the best, concise answers out of people. Is that the skillset, would you say? Okay. And some people do it better than others. I'm assuming

Dontaira Terrell:

For sure. Also, even, I love like the interviews where it's I'm the interviewer, but then by after they answer, I'm like I had to write that down. I didn't think about that. Thank you.

Alena Conley:

Right?

Dontaira Terrell:

Oh, really?

Alena Conley:

Yeah.

Dontaira Terrell:

Those Interviews when it costs me to think and I'm like, interesting. didn't think about But yes, but sometimes even like when I reach out to for instance, Nikki Giovanni, that's I dressed up as Nikki Giovanni when I was in second grade Month. So she has been, that has like always been like a dream interview and I interviewed her twice. And so the one interview for, this is like going back to the career the in terms of building my career back up. So she was teaching, was it UVA, University of Virginia? I But, I reached out to her because she had her ed like dot edu online because she was a professor So I reached out to her asked her if I could interview her. She's oh, yeah, sure when you want to come And I was like, oh, okay, she was like is this gonna be a phoner or what is it? I'm, like nikki giovanni i'm flying there So I used my own money and just did like a 24 hour trip rented the car went and went to Best Buy, got like a little speaker so I could put on her, And got my little tripod for my iPhone because I

Alena Conley:

Huh

Dontaira Terrell:

had no place to place it. I just needed, I just wanted to interview, but then I got the interview done and then I was able to place it afterwards. So I started like doing things like that and just being transparent with certain people I don't know I'm trying to figure it out. I'm a freelancer. We're figuring it out. But one of the things that she did tell me, and I think that also helped my approach in terms of purchasing this newspaper with my sister, when she, I said, I don't know, I'm just a writer. And she was like, pause, like she stopped everything she was doing. She was like, you are not just a writer. You are a business and you need to treat yourself as such. I was like, oh. Okay. And so she started talking about her career in terms of turning her poems into poetry books in terms of she gave me the idea. She said, how about you start when you're getting all of these interviews, have two staple questions that are outside of the publications that you write for that are just for you. And then you can create a book like a mother's love. Here's from 10 athletes on what they had to say about a mother's love throughout their career journey. And so I started doing that. So I always make sure I ask people like one or two questions that are just for me and then like on the back end to develop like more quality content and to be able to put it out myself. She was like, cause then you can put it out yourself and that's part of the business aspect. She was, and then she started talking about me about trademarking and different and I'm like, I just, I was a writer. She's no.

Alena Conley:

Yeah.

Dontaira Terrell:

Your career, this is a business and we're going to treat it as such. You are a business. You are a walking business. That was it.

Alena Conley:

Yeah. And I think that is just, and that is the evolution of a real grown person that understands that companies come and go, publishers come and go the economy will go up and down. But when you are, especially in, in, in a field where you're creative you have to be your own brand, right? And I think that's something that I've recognized even as a coach or whatever I am. At this point, I have so many creative entities that a lot of the work that I do The economics of it all changes. Like people can have you on a contract one day and you're gone, but you're still your brand. So you have to be able to navigate it and have the legal structure to do so in the way where you're like, Hey, I'm a Lena Conley, corporation, and I'm navigating as such. And so that's great advice. Shoot. I'm gonna take that advice today.

Dontaira Terrell:

was like

Alena Conley:

I don't. I

Dontaira Terrell:

turning and then when I was signing contracts my sister I have two sisters who are attorneys, but the one who I bought the newspaper with, that was one of the things she always, you need to read these contracts to make sure that when you, you're the one securing the interviews, make sure this content is yours or you can use it elsewhere outside of just that particular publication. I'm like, I'm just trying to get this 500. So I don't know. Exactly. Yeah.

Alena Conley:

This has been a great conversation. I'm sure that we're going to Definitely have you back as you're going to be bringing so much to the world with this whole new business that you got you're gonna be learning so much as a business owner You're gonna come back in a year like alina. Why you didn't tell me? I'm gonna be like girl. Listen, you ain't asked me

Dontaira Terrell:

learning so much. It's just Yeah,

Alena Conley:

Yeah. Thank you so much. Where can people find you online?

Dontaira Terrell:

You can visit our website at BuckeyeReview. com and you can also find me on all social media at Dontara Terrell.

Alena Conley:

you guys for tuning in to get another episode of the reminder remedy. And we will see you all on the other side.

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